Already In Love
by ruerox11
Summary: "Falling in love? That didn't even occur to him?" What Martha could've said to ease John Smith's conscience about opening the fob watch.


_I didn't know how to stop you,_ she tells him.

_He gave me a list of things to watch out for_, she tells him. _But that wasn't one of them._

"Falling in love?" he asks her incredulously. "That didn't even occur to him?"

"No," she states softly. _No._

"Then what sort of man is that?" he demands. "What sort of man thinks he'll never fall in love?"

Pictures flash before Martha's eyes. A room, down the hall, with a single flower carved into its door. A room that he calmly, quietly forbid her ever to open. A British flag shirt she'd seen him hold, in a weak moment, hugging it and inhaling its slowly fading scent with tears in his eyes. A day of silence every month, the same day each month. The day of quiet and longing and pain and mourning.

A look that was so often directed at her, a look she hated. When she said something clever, or did something right. The look he gave her that clearly said _if only she'd been here to say that._

She knows why, why instruction number twenty-four wasn't _oh and by the way if I happen to fall in love with a human that's of course not you then you should_ because that was completely, simply, unfathomable. The Doctor, in all his Timelordish power, never suspected he could fall in love as a human because never would as the Doctor.

"The sort of man that's already in love," she tells him, firmly. When he looks at her suspiciously, the look that shouldn't be on her Doctor's face and most certainly not directed at _her_ she blurts,

"The Doctor never thought he'd fall in love. He thought it was completely impossible because he was so totally in love with someone already that the thought never even crossed his mind."

And when Joan opens her mouth, Martha snaps, "And you can untwist your knickers. It's not me."

Now precious Nurse Redfern is looking offended and the Do- _John_ is about to berate Martha for being out of line so she stomps over to the nurse quite angrily. Joan flinches as if she expects to be hit, but Martha reaches out and snatches the journal full of the Doctor's exploits out of her hands.

She knows how many drawings are in there, how many impossible things it holds, so she can hope for one more.

Martha shoves the drawing under his nose, the beautiful girl with the soft hair and big lips and worried eyes and says,

"That's Rose."

The D- John studies her face for a moment and his expression softens almost unnoticeably. But Martha was watching, watching for the change in his eyes, and she sees it.

"You remember her. See, you remember her!" she cries.

Instantly his walls come down again. "She's from a dream."

"She's not a dream!" Martha exclaims. "She's Rose. Rose Tyler. You met her long before you met me and were head-over-heels from day one. She's from London and she worked in a shop and isn't that big or important, but you love her more than anything in the _universe_ because she's beautiful and caring and kind and _your Rose._"

He's watching her now, interested. Of course he'd be interested in Rose.

"And… I don't know much about her, because it hurts you to talk about her. You lost her, before I ever met you. She's trapped in another world where you can never get her back. And you know what? I've really hated her."

Surprise, shock, confusion, _wipe that look off the Doctor's face, John Smith, it doesn't belong there. _

"I've never been more jealous of another person my entire life. The way you talk about her, the way you say her name, it kills me. Cuz I'd give anything, _anything_, for you to look at me like that. But you never can, never will. You sold your heart to Rose Tyler and I'll never get it from her."

He touches the page softly, tracing her bold eyebrows and small chin and tries to forget. To get this girl's face out of his head, to get away from this mad servant, to run off and be with his Joan.

"Even now, you're still looking," she informs him sadly. "You say you're not, but you're searching everywhere, trying to find some impossible way back to her. I don't know if you'll ever find one, and you don't either, but I know you've got to keep looking."

She places the watch in his hands softly, watching the change in his eyes as he feels the power inside the tiny silver capsule.

"Open it. Get the Doctor back. Because somewhere out there, Rose Tyler is waiting for you. And I love you enough to want you to find your way back and be happy. For both of you to be happy."

He meets her eyes with real understanding for the very first time.

"I know you won't do it for me, or for the village, or for the world," Martha states. "But please, do it for Rose."

**Viola, the piece that wrote itself. I was sitting there watching Family of Blood screaming at Martha to just **_**tell him about Rose already, it'll make it better!**_** all while marveling at Tennant's fantastic acting when flipping from John to Doctor to John. But alas, Martha did not get the hint, so I started writing it myself, and it just sort of spiraled. C'est la vie.**

**I kept getting pissed at Martha for trying to replace Rose even though I wanted to like her as a character, honestly I did. So I thought for once I'd give her a little understanding of what the Doctor is going through that will serve as a bridge between "Oh, so she's **_**blonde?**_**" to "Oh my god, he found you." That was a very sudden change of heart, in my opinion.**

**Leave a comment, drop me a line, tell me all! First time in the DW fandom, I'd love to know your thoughts.**

**Allons-y!**

**-ruerox11**


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